Given Miami’s recent designation as the wellspring of a new dialect, we here at The Miami Creation Myth have taken it upon ourselves to translate some of South Florida’s most common phrases into English.
| Miamian | English |
| I’m parking. | I just got out of the shower |
| I’ll be there in 30 minutes | You’ll never see me again. |
| The party starts at 9 PM. | The party starts at 12 AM. |
| Stop eating shit. | Stop fucking around. |
| He’s talking shit. | He’s talking trash. |
| I just bought a new Audi. | I just leased a used Audi. |
| Get down from the car. | Get out of the car. |
| I can’t. | You’re kidding me. |
| I can’t even. | The fuck is this about? |
| I really can’t even. | I’m about to kill someone. |
| Like, I really can’t even. | I actually killed someone. |
| I really can’t even right now. | I’m about to kill you. |
| I literally died. | I’m fine, but don’t understand the word “literally.” |
| My boyfriend works in real estate. | My boyfriend is unemployed. |
| I do import-export. | I sell drugs. |
| I’m a Dolphins fan. | Life is suffering. |
| I live in Miami Lakes. | I live in Hialeah. |
| Miami traffic isn’t that bad. | I’ve never been west of SW 2nd Avenue. |
| I love South Beach. | I’m a compulsive liar. |
| Che Guevara was a great man. | I want to get punched today. |
| I love the cold. | I think 65 degrees is cold weather. |
| Brito’s art is great. | I’m a tasteless fool. |
| Yeah, no. | No. |
| No, yeah. | Yes. |
| Yeah, no, yeah. | Yes. |
| Yeah, no, yeah, no. | I may need medical attention. |
| I’m going to America. | I’m going to Broward. |
| She lives in butt fuck Egypt. | She lives in Fort Lauderdale. |
| She lives in butt fuck India. | She lives in Palm Beach. |
| She lives in butt fuck China. | She lives in Jupiter. |
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Andrew Otazo
'Miami Creation Myth' author Andrew Otazo has advised officials on Cuba policy, worked for the Mexican president, fired a tank, and ran with 30lbs of trash.
Check out the first free chapter of Andrew’s upcoming book here.
