Select Page
An Open Letter to Coronavirus from Miami

An Open Letter to Coronavirus from Miami

Dear Coronavirus, Welcome to Miami. And by “welcome,” I mean “please put a Clorox-soaked bullet in your head and bury yourself in the Everglades,” but we’re all about social tact in South Florida. Nevertheless, you’re here, and like a flock of New Jersey snowbirds, we...
Royal Caribbean Declares Corona Its Official Beer

Royal Caribbean Declares Corona Its Official Beer

Co-written with William Lopez. Harold Cromley, Royal Caribbean’s Senior Branding Director, strode to the podium with a heady mix of bluster and self-satisfaction. He had a fantastic idea, and couldn’t wait to share it with the roomful of reporters arrayed before him....
Miamian Insists She Loves Cold Weather Because She Sets Her AC to 70

Miamian Insists She Loves Cold Weather Because She Sets Her AC to 70

“I love this real winter weather!” exclaimed Jessica Cardoza. The 29-year-old systems engineer sat in Greenstreet Café’s outdoor patio, enjoying brunch with Emily Rogers, a visiting friend from Chicago. The Miami native planned a long day of sightseeing which would...
The Many Meanings of Coño

The Many Meanings of Coño

As illustrated in “The Art of Cuban Cursing,” Caribbean swearing marks the absolute pinnacle of human profanity. Today, however, we will focus on the Swiss army knife of Spanish obscenity, the T-1000 of casual expletives, the most flexible, versatile swear word in the...