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Miami Opens Its First Adult Gringo Adoption Office

Miami Opens Its First Adult Gringo Adoption Office

The City of Miami sought to formalize the previously haphazard method of incorporating outsiders into Latino culture by opening the world’s first Gringo Adoption Agency (GAA). “Longtime Miami residents and new arrivals alike are welcome in the agency,” said Jesus...
I Read this Headline, Am Confused, but Open It Anyway

I Read this Headline, Am Confused, but Open It Anyway

I wonder what the article’s about. This is rather odd. Why is it written in first person? Is there anything of substance here? Is the writer messing with me? Am I in on the joke or the subject? OK, this is weird. The text almost, but not exactly, mirrors my inner...
It’s Time Millennials Killed Miami’s Political System

It’s Time Millennials Killed Miami’s Political System

Credit: Adam DelGiudice/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images About 15 years ago, Boomers and Gen Xers began eyeing my generation with a mix of confusion, exasperation, and more than a hint of panic. Simultaneously, those born between 1980 and 1994 took a solid...
2020 Will End in June

2020 Will End in June

“Maaaaaan, fuck this year!” exclaimed Dr. Robert Elkridge, Ph.D., Director of the International Bureau of Weights and Measures. The stately British septuagenarian had perfect elocution and a patrician bearing, all of which were somewhat undermined by two the middle...