I wonder what the article’s about. This is rather odd. Why is it written in first person? Is there anything of substance here? Is the writer messing with me? Am I in on the joke or the subject?

OK, this is weird. The text almost, but not exactly, mirrors my inner monologue. I look confused. I am confused. Is it my inner monologue or just my inner monologue narrating the text? Where do my thoughts end and the article begin? This is kind of dumb. There’s no way the author keeps this up for long.

I consider closing the tab and going about my day. But I’m still reading. I am literally reading about reading this text as I read it. Still haven’t stopped reading. Reading, reading, reading, reading. OK, I stopped reading. No I haven’t, because I just read that. And this. The author’s definitely messing with me. Do I stop reading? No, because I just read this.

This is getting ridiculous. Is it more ridiculous that I’m reading this or that the author wrote it? Is that my own question or did the author put it in my head? Did he put this question in my head? What about this one? What if he ends this sentence with a period rather than a question mark. He just did. And I read it. And this. And this. And this. And this: rhinoceros. Why did he write “rhinoceros?” And why did I read it? Why am I still reading this?

There must be something more to this article. There isn’t. Did the author state that or did I? Do I truly believe there isn’t anything of substance in the article? Does that question mean anything? Why am I questioning the question of the question? Maybe the question of the question of the question of the question is really a statement about writing. That was a statement. So was that. And this. Maybe that means something. This is frustrating.

I’m getting annoyed. Where’s the author going? I have things to do. I can’t just sit around reading what the author assumes is my inner monologue. Now I’m assuming the author assumed my assumptions. I’m going to stop reading. I mean, I’ll eventually stop reading, but I haven’t yet because I’m still reading. I’m going to close this article. It’s going to happen. Rhinoceros.

He wrote “rhinoceros” again! Just when I was going to stop reading! What a stupid word in a stupid article! None of this makes any sense. I just wasted a whole lot of time on absolutely nothing. OK, I’m going to close the article. I’m not reading anymore. Closing it right now. Now. OK, now. I’m still reading… No more reading! This is the end of the article! No more words! Except a few more. OK, now I’m really going to stop reading and close it. Rhinoceros.

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Andrew Otazo

'Miami Creation Myth' author Andrew Otazo has advised officials on Cuba policy, worked for the Mexican president, fired a tank, and ran with 30lbs of trash.

Check out the first free chapter of Andrew’s upcoming book here.